Mr. Monk and the Secret Santa Review

A Monk Fun Page Episode Review

If you haven't seen the episode yet and you'd like to be surprised, it's probably best to read no further. Just bookmark this page and come back when you're finished.

I may have come into "Mr. Monk and the Secret Santa" with heightened expectations. I'd waited so long and the reviews were so good that I was expecting It's a Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas and A Charlie Brown Christmas all rolled into one Monk episode. Instead, it was something all its own: not a holiday spectacle, just a gently humorous and sentimental, look at contemporary Christmas with a slightly homicidal backdrop. Considering the episode wasn't their idea (USA Network requested it), I think the Monk team handled it rather well.

David Breckman is the credited writer of the episode. He also wrote or co-wrote a dozen other episodes including my favorite "Mr. Monk Goes to the Asylum" to which I think this episode has a couple of similarities. David also has a new pilot called Underfunded which he's developing for USA network with Ross Abrash who wrote "Mr. Monk and the Employee of the Month." It’s intended to be a companion show for Monk.

The episode is directed by Jerry Levine (no relation to Ted) who has not only directed a number of episodes, but also played Kenny Shale, Sharona's ambitious, deputy mayor boyfriend in "Mr. Monk and the Twelfth Man" who Mrs. Ling liked better than Monk. I confess that I've considered his directing, which includes "Mr. Monk Goes to the Office," "Mr. Monk Gets Stuck in Traffic" and "Mr. Monk Goes to Jail," rather pedestrian. However, he really has done some brilliant work with other episodes like "Mr. Monk and The Girl Who Cried Wolf," "Mr. Monk Gets Cabin Fever" (the dueling summations!) and now "Secret Santa."

Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree

So where'd they get the typewriter?

The episode opens with a view of the city skyline, featuring the holiday lights of the Embarcadero Center and the Bay Bridge at sunset. A beautiful shot of San Francisco always softens me up for the rest of a Monk episode. Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree, the bouncy Brenda Lee tune, plays as a gloved hand injects a fake brand of port with bubbly, nasty looking strychnine-ish poison.

The killer wraps the bottle, ties it with a beautiful bow and tops it all off with a candy cane. Then the killer uses a vintage Underwood Standard Master Model typewriter circa 1947 to type a name on the envelope. We only see bits of the name at this point, but we know it's addressed to Captain Stottlemeyer because we all read the preview tag line: When a detective dies at the police department Christmas party after drinking from a poisoned bottle of

port intended for Captain Stottlemeyer, can Monk find the killer? (What kind of question is that? It wouldn't be much of a show if he couldn't.) So I'm thinking, wow, a vintage Underwood Standard Master Model typewriter circa 1947! That's got to be a clue!

In a suspenseful yet economical sequence, we follow the bottle to Alice's desk, right outside Captain Stottlemeyer's door. Alice doesn't even glance at it, but the camera zooms in for a close-up and again I'm thinking that the typewriter will trip up the killer because some of the keys are worn down producing partial letters. That's easy to trace, right? Maybe not, but it was good enough evidence for the old school detectives.

I think it would be nice for Stottlemeyer to get some much needed office help and a person of the female persuasion around the squad room. Too bad Alice won't quite fit the bill.

"Adrian Monk is coming"

We fade back in on the bottle (so the suspense can continue to build) and Detective Terry Chasen in the background hanging the "Merry Christmas" banner. Some people may have been surprised by who the killer was, but I bet everyone had him pegged for the victim from the get go. Chet Grissom (Detective Chasen) also appeared in "Mr. Monk Goes to Vegas" and "Mr. Monk Goes to the

Office" as, at the time, an unnamed detective. On both previous occasions he was rather uncool with Monk. Chasen's reaction of "Aw, hell!" upon learning that Adrian would be attending the party irritated me a bit, too. I'm not going to miss this guy. I always appreciate Stottlemeyer's effort to accommodate Monk, in this case by seeing that the banner is hung correctly. It's sweet.

Alice appears efficient and she blends in well in her cop uniform. I wouldn't have suspected her at this point if I hadn't known all along. She gives the Captain the message from his wife "She said her mother's sick and she won't be able to make it tonight."

"Her mother's...? Well, that's too bad."

The tone, and his briefly frustrated expression, convey that he doesn't believe Karen's mother is sick, that he knows she doesn't want to come to the party and that they're probably having marital difficulties. He tries to cover up his disappointment and his tone with Alice changes, not exactly flirtatious, but friendlier. "You looking forward to our little party, Alice?"

When Stottlemeyer mentions Terry in his boxer shorts Alice does a pretty good job of looking disinterested, (of course if the Captain were standing by my desk smiling I probably wouldn't give Chasen, or any other man, a second thought either) but it's at this point that she hands Stottlemeyer the poisoned port. That little "Help me, Rhonda" anecdote probably steeled her resolve.

The Randy Disher Project

Randy may sing better than Stottlemeyer but his guitar playing is not as good. (Yes, I think that was really Ted playing.) Of course, he was "just tuning it up."

"It's a nice guitar," he tells the Captain. "It's Karen's," says Stottlemeyer. And there's an edge to his voice that indicates he's still a bit upset that

Karen isn't going to be there. Randy offers to jam and reveals that "I used to have a rock band back in high school: The Randy Disher Project.

"That's a good name how'd you come up with that?" says Stottlemeyer with a perfectly straight face. The teasing seems lost on Randy. Does he think the Captain has never heard of The Alan Parsons Project? "My name's Randy...Disher and then project." This won't be the last we hear of The Randy Disher Project by the way. It's going to crop up later in season 4.5. and I think it's great that they lay the foundation here.

All the Disher Stottlemeyer stuff seems more substantial to me than the Julie-Monk-Natalie sequences. Also they kick up the suspense a notch when Randy grabs the deadly bottle. "I love port." He loves port. He sings, he wears jeans and he has TiVo. I may be falling in love with Randy.

"I think I'll take it home to Karen," says Stottlemeyer. A peace offering, perhaps? In any case, he puts his foot down: "Randy, I'm taking it home." At this point Alice's plan could so easily have gone wrong and Randy could have been the victim. Bad Alice! Brilliant maybe, but not very careful. Randy also narrowly escaped death by Neptune Bar in "Mr. Monk Goes Home Again" and demonstrated the same reluctance to give up the contaminated candy. Randy must have a guardian angel. Oh wait... He's the plucky comic relief. Thank goodness, he's safe.

"Somehow it's still beautiful"

The visual joke of the half decorated Christmas tree is amusing, but the impact was spoiled for me by having seen the promo so often. (The official site is set as my home page, so I must have seen it 100 times.) "Is it beautiful? Snow?" Julie asks suddenly revealing a hitherto fore hidden obsession with the common meteorological phenomenon.

"You've never seen snow? Oh, it's very beautiful. No two flakes are the same, but somehow it's still beautiful." It was a perfectly written line with a perfect delivery: so thoughtful, poignant, amusing. So Monk. Bravo.

The next bit, however, seems a little awkward when Natalie asks Julie if she's okay with Mr. Monk being there. Is Monk staying with them? Or does she mean just because he's there for the tree trimming? Perhaps that was previously a special mother-daughter time? It's still a strange question to ask Julie as they're about to walk out the door. Why should Julie mind if Monk's there when he'll be gone in a moment anyway?

Monk brings in Trudy's gift to let us know what a sad time the holidays can be for him. “You never open it." "Nope." But Monk is getting a little happiness this Christmas, not only from his memory of Trudy, but from sharing this holiday with his friends. "It's going to be a great party; I'm not completely dreading it."

Wal-Mart: $15

We zoom in past the Happy Holidays sign and follow the conga line through the Captain's office as a jazzy version of Deck the Halls plays. Natalie boogies over to Disher and admires his sweater. Clearly she's already spotted the guy in the identical sweater and she's ready to play her little joke on Randy. She continues her cute little dance while he explains the sweater's dubious origins. Then she dances away and returns with

Sweater Detective, as he's called in the credits. He sure makes the most of his two word line: "Wal-Mart, 15 dollars." Wal-Mart is a Monk sponsor. So the writers worked in the product placement, while at the same time sort of slamming Wal-Mart and writing a very amusing scene. Yes, Randy's feelings were a bit hurt, but Natalie makes up for it with one of her special Christmas kisses.

Monk's idea of a great party is arranging the beautifully decorated cookies. Adrian's frank discussion with Alice is sad and funny and tactless, especially in light of how bad (and murderous) she feels about being alone. He compounds his faux pas with "for people our age." Her expression is priceless. Rachael Harris does a pretty good job of making me sympathize with Alice.

O Holy Night!

The opening shot of this scene, as the camera pans around Monk and eventually comes to rest on Stottlemeyer singing, is breathtaking. What's Monk looking at or thinking about? I'm guessing Trudy. Probably the last time he was at a Christmas party was when Trudy was alive. When he turns around to watch Stottlemeyer singing it's as if he's coming out of a trance.

Both Monk and Natalie look fondly at Alice as she mouths the words to the song. If only they knew how totally unimbued she is with the Christmas spirit. Stottlemeyer also seems to gaze at Alice as he sings the song, but maybe that's just the way it's cut.

Stottlemeyer pauses to remember the words. "And yonder breaks.... a new and glorious morning." It's just such a nice touch. It's Stottlemeyer singing, not Ted Levine, all in character as he stumbles over the words and doesn't hit all the notes. For a minute there as Randy comes in with the harmony, it's really quite beautiful.

Does anyone remember the Bing Crosby/David Bowie duet of Little Drummer Boy? That's what this reminded me of with the contrasting styles. Randy is also very much in character as he sings. And by the way he has really cute hands.

Monk's reaction is so perfect with that sweet smile of his and tears glistening in his eyes. It was quite a moment. "That was great," Stottlemeyer tells Disher. And it was.

All of Alice's Good Will Towards Men has apparently been sucked out by one man in particular. She doesn't hesitate to go ahead with the murder plot against him, announcing that it's Secret Santa time.

Stottlemeyer and Disher Sing O Holy Night

Monk is so eager to give Stottlemeyer his gift and as with Benjy in "Mr. Monk and the Sleeping Suspect" Monk can't wait for Stott to open it. He just tells him what it is. "It's an air purifier, for your house." He gets a similarly unenthusiastic response, but it's nice to see the special affectionate knuckle knock again. "Do you know what eBay is?" asks Stottlemeyer. (Ooo, Oooo I know: a new corporate sponsor.) "Ebay? No," replies Monk. "Good." The implication being that Stottlemeyer intends to sell the air purifier on eBay at the first opportunity. Once again a neat and amusing way to work in the product placement, but the Captain's probably better off just exchanging it.

Alice tells Adrian "I'm your Secret Santa." If you didn't already know, that should have been a big clue that she was the culprit. After all it's called "Mr. Monk and the Secret Santa." She's even in the title. And she literally hands him the first clue. The card folded to go into the envelope that's too small. "It's a funny card,” Monk observes. “You can tell by the explanation points." As he opens it Stottlemeyer peers over his shoulder saying "What'd you get?" and then mouths something to

Alice when he sees Monk's reaction. I think it was something like 'I told you he'd love it.' My impression was that he advised Alice on what to get Monk. And his little chuckle seems to confirm it.

The Sock Monkey needs a better agent

The next scene where Stottlemeyer looks for his gift is where I thought the Sock Monkey might be making an appearance, but he was apparently off at the invitation only Sock Monkey Christmas Ball and the only appearance he makes is on the back of Randy's (and Sweater Detective’s) sweater.

[The Sock Monkey guest-starred in season three's "Mr. Monk and the Panic Room." He was used by Stottlemeyer during his interrogation of Darwin the chimp. The Sock Monkey also popped up in a subsequent episode, ("Mr. Monk Gets Fired") behind Stottlemeyer's desk. I had hopes, since the Captain's desk was featured in "Secret Santa," that the Sock Monkey would make another appearance, but that didn't happen.] After drawing my attention to the sock monkey's absence, Alice suggests the bottle of port. This means of course, if you've already deduced it's Alice, than you can also deduce that Chasen is the intended victim. Stottlemeyer gives the unfortunate detective the last Christmas present he'll ever get.

The camera pans through the party past a smooching couple (seriously, get a room already) and a token Menorah. Chasen pours himself a cup of port and doesn't even offer it to anybody else. (Miss Manners says if you don't know you're bottle of hooch is poisoned you should offer to share with other party goers. Of course a half dozen dead bodies would have made for a pretty depressing holiday.) Randy cuts in on Sweater Detective who is fondling said sweater and attempting to chat up the girl with the tight, unseasonably low cut blouse. Randy gives Sweater Detective an adorably mischievous look as he hands the young lady a drink. Monk is already making good use of his whisk broom by dusting off Natalie. In the background Chasen does a spit take and a great swan dive into the snack table. It was really a very well done death scene. They did their homework on the effects of strychnine, which is characterized by powerful and extremely painful convulsions, there being no impairment of cognitive or sensory function. Death occurs as a result of respiratory arrest, due to spasm and paralysis of the respiratory muscles. Symptoms usually begin within about 20 minutes of ingestion of the poison.

The lethal dose is about 5mg/kg body-weight, in other words about 350mg for an adult. The wide open eyes and the onset of rigor mortis almost immediately following death are also indications of strychnine poisoning. That's one of the funnest parts of writing mysteries, researching poisons. (By the way, I have a great book called Deadly Doses which I bet the Monk writers also own.)

Randy, as usual, is quick to react, but it's too late for Chasen. Stottlemeyer picks up the bottle of port. Monk stands by with a horrified look on his face. Perhaps the "Prince of Darkness" phrase is running though his head and he's worried that people will stop inviting him to parties.

We're sixteen minutes into the episode, before the murder occurs. Usually, of course, it's in the teaser. I think since this was a special Christmas episode they wanted to give it a different feel. The only other episode which I can recall where we have to wait that long for the mystery is "Mr. Monk Goes to the Asylum," one of my favorites and also written by David Breckman. I like the leisurely pacing, which gives so much time for character development and holiday cheer, yet still delivers an effective little mystery.

"There but for the grace of God"

With a little prompting Disher delivers the gruesome news: "Poison, some kind of strychnine. Simple, effective, anybody could have made it." (Especially a cookie baking whiz like Alice.) So the Captain asks "Couldn't he have tasted it?" Good question. "Port's a pretty heavy drink, isn't it?" Monk asks the only ex-bartender in the room. "It's really strong," Natalie says very somberly. "He wouldn't have tasted it in that," Monk speculates. I beg to differ. Port, a fortified wine, may be heavy, but it's also quite sweet. Strychnine is extremely bitter and it would significantly change the taste of the port. Of course, Chasen may have noted that it tasted funny, but continued to drink it. Or he could have stopped drinking it after having already ingested a fatal dose. However, I think, if I were Alice, I would have used a cheap brandy rather than a port. To each her own, of course. I guess it got the job done.This was meant for me," Stottlemeyer says, obviously feeling pretty guilty. "There but for the grace of God," Disher comments, which may seem inane when applied to the Captain's situation, but it works pretty well if you think in terms of how close Randy came to drinking the stuff himself.

"Captain, I'm sorry," says Natalie. "He was only 38 years old. Was he married?" Okay, Natalie, that's starting to irritate me. She asked the same thing about the murder victim in "Mr. Monk Goes Home Again." You know, those of us who are single would like to think that our lives are also valuable. Stottlemeyer informs us that Terry Chasen had a wife, with whom he recently reconciled, and (just in case that’s not tragic enough for Natalie) twins.

Cue Alice, who brings in the coffee and confesses it was her idea for the gift exchange. "Alice you can't blame yourself." Yes, yes she can, but I think she really blames Terry. Detective Robbins (Dylan White) enters the investigation. He's another one of those well drawn smaller characters that the Monk writers do so well. In fact I was so impressed that I dropped Dylan an email and he has now agreed to do an interview for the website, which I hope to have up shortly.

"Whoever sent it knew you did business with them," says Natalie. "That narrows it down, right?" It wasn't helpful in this case, but she's getting to be quite the little detective, isn't she?

Even though there are other suspects, the Captain already has a theory: "It was Frank Prager." Disher, in one of his take charge moods, wants to pick his team to investigate the other leads. “I’ll take Monk," he says after careful and unnecessary consideration. I enjoyed Adrian's enthusiastic and childlike reaction to being picked first and I loved Stott pulling him over to his team. "No, I'll take Monk." I'm sure being picked first was not a frequent experience for Monk growing up. Can anyone tell me if this abhorrent team picking process is still practiced in schools? It's a cruel thing to do to a child and a cruel thing to do to wide-eyed Detective Robbins, who waits on the sidelines as he's passed over in favor of amateurs. Stottlemeyer says that they'll meet back there at noon. It's already light out, so they've been up all night.

"I was pretty toasted"

Stottlemeyer recounts his near death experience: "Four months ago, it was a Tuesday night, I came out of the bar 2:00am. They took my keys. So I'm walking home. I was alone. I was pretty toasted." I could be wrong but a married man usually doesn't go out drinking alone on a weeknight and get so toasted they take his keys and make him walk home, unless he's got a problem.

It's another indication that the Stottlemeyer marriage might be going through a rough patch. Again it's very nice to see them laying the ground work for a future episode. That's how continuity is born.

Stottlemeyer's theory on why Prager missed him is pretty weak.

"Maybe he was as toasted as I was. Maybe it was a miracle." "Maybe it was," says Monk, but he's doubtful. He has a hard time believing in miracles. He turns his attention to the bullet holes that are still adding mystique to The Spot. "Two, one, two," he says looking at the pattern. The viewer is deliberately misdirected. If you're focused on Monk, as most audience members are, you're going to try to make it fit the pattern he suggests: "2-1-2." Very nice.

Stake Out

Natalie's not very good at stake outs, but at least she doesn't bring her boyfriends along. "Natalie this is a stake out. You never know how long. That's what makes a stake out so much fun." Now we know. After a quick game of twenty questions, Natalie asks Monk what he wants for Christmas. "A miracle," he says. Again her dialogue seems awkward in this scene. You know how some people start a discussion by asking you what you think when they really just want the opportunity to tell you what they think? Well, Natalie's one of those people. The natural thing to do would be to find out what Monk meant by saying he wanted a miracle for Christmas. Is he thinking about Trudy, solving the case, an AIDS vaccine, the end of the Iraq war, what? Natalie simply doesn't care; she just wanted a chance to natter on about Julie's snow obsession. Tahoe's not that far. You've got an SUV, go show her snow.

"It hasn't snowed in San Francisco for nine years. The last time it snowed was the day Trudy died." Monk tells Natalie. I hate to question Adrian's arithmetic, but Trudy died in 1997 according to her headstone and in November according to the coroner's report on her murder. That would make it just over eight years ago. So Trudy died either 8 or 9 years ago when she was 34 or 35 years old after graduating from high school when she was 15 or 16 or 17.

Aaack! They're messin' with us. They know we're trying to keep track. Also it may have been snowing in Monkland the day Trudy died, but we haven't had any measurable snowfall in San Francisco since 1976. There was a dusting of snow in December of 1998. I remember it fell in big fluffy flakes for an hour or so, but it didn't stick.

Monk and Natalie sing Silent Night