Trudy Monk

“She’s always with me… Everytime I close my eyes… She’s always 34 years old. She’s always wearing the same dress. And, she’s always – so…” — Adrian Monk "Mr. Monk and the Other Woman"

Trudy Monk is the deceased wife of Adrian Monk, the main character in the USA Network series Monk, starring Tony Shalhoub. She was killed by a car bomb more than three years before the events of the pilot episode "Mr. Monk and the Candidate." She now appears to him in dreams, flashbacks and fantasies.

According to the show's outdated PR: After the tragic (and still unsolved) murder of his wife, the devastated Monk became obsessive-compulsive. His psychological disorder has caused him to develop an abnormal fear of virtually everything: germs, heights, crowds... even milk. Monk's condition eventually cost him his job, and continues to pose unique challenges in his everyday life. Later episodes revealed that Monk's OCD and at least some of his phobias did, in fact, pre-date his relationship with Trudy, but without her stabilizing influence Monk apparently went into a psychological tailspin.

In Dr. Kroger's words her death left Monk "emotionally paralyzed." He still wears his wedding ring and still considers himself "the husband." Solving her murder remains a primary motivation for Monk and the overarching mystery of the series.


The Essential Details of
Trudy Monk's Life and Death

Courtesy of Olivia, mostly
with a little help from the USA Network Monk Board Posters
[bracketed remarks are mine]

General Facts

Trudy was born in 1962 and died in the winter of 1997 — PILOT, THREE PIES, SECRET SANTA, UP ALL NIGHT

Trudy’s birthday was on the tenth of the month. — MRS. MONK
The only time the 10th falls on a Monday in 2005 is in January and October. I am inclined to think that Trudy's birthday was in October. [I am inclined to agree, but that would make her 35 at the time of her death if the November/December 1997 date is correct.]

Trudy was the only child of Dwight and Marsha Ellison — GAME SHOW

Trudy's middle name is Anne — as seen on gravestone in PILOT

Trudy put a cinnamon stick in her coffee, a trick she picked up in Spain. — MRS. MONK

Trudy is allergic to fish. — MRS. MONK

Trudy’s favorite wine is a 1984 Allacco Cabernet. — GETS DRUNK

Trudy loved to write poetry. — BACK TO SCHOOL, PLAYBOY, MRS. MONK, etc.

Trudy kept every promise she ever made — BLACKOUT

Trudy always went barefoot, even when it was cold out. — BLACKOUT

Trudy’s head was oval-shaped. — BLACKOUT

Trudy’s favorite dish is Chicken Cacciatore. — ASYLUM

Trudy's favorite perfume was Shalimar. — MRS. MONK

Trudy was Willie Nelson’s biggest fan. — RED-HEADED STRANGER

Trudy used strawberry shampoo and lilac lotion. — MEDICINE

Trudy’s father Dwight Ellison is now a successful game show producer. — GAME SHOW

Trudy’s mother, Marsha, is now a grief counselor. — GAME SHOW


Before She Met Adrian

Trudy attended Ashton Preparatory School on scholarship. — BACK TO SCHOOL

Trudy’s best friend in high school was Arleen Cassidy, now vice-principal of Ashton Preparatory School. — BACK TO SCHOOL

Trudy was the valedictorian of her class and worked on the yearbook committee. — BACK TO SCHOOL

Trudy played tennis. — BACK TO SCHOOL

Trudy painted flowers on the Class of 1977's mural. — BACK TO SCHOOL

Trudy apparently graduated from Ashton at the age of 15 in 1977. [This conclusion, drawn from Trudy having painted the flowers in the 1977 senior class mural, could be erroneous. We know she painted the flowers; we don’t know she graduated that year.] — BACK TO SCHOOL

Trudy’s favorite place to write at Ashton was under a certain tree on campus. — BACK TO SCHOOL

Trudy was quiet, smart and didn't date much. — BACK TO SCHOOL

Trudy was waiting for the right man and would know him when she found him. — BACK TO SCHOOL

Trudy was from Los Angeles. — GAME SHOW

Trudy was a rock 'n roll fan in her youth. — GAME SHOW

Trudy excelled in equestrian sports. — GAME SHOW

Trudy had a diary as a young girl, which had butterflies on the cover. — GAME SHOW

Trudy had a golden retriever named Ginger who died. — GAME SHOW

Trudy attended the University of California at Berkeley — CLASS REUNION

Trudy's roomate in first year at college was Dianne Brooks. — CLASS REUNION

Adrian and Trudy

After She Met Adrian

Trudy fell in love with Monk when he was a detective, on the street, breaking cases. — BALL GAME

Trudy met Adrian on August 12th (year unspecified) — ASYLUM

Trudy and Adrian met in the Berkeley Library — CLASS REUNION

Trudy and Adrian married in the fall (harvest time) of 1990. — GETS DRUNK/OTHER WOMAN

Trudy and Adrian honeymooned at the Allacco Inn and Winery. — GETS DRUNK

Trudy worked as a columnist for The Examiner and as a reporter for The Chronicle, writing hard-hitting exposes. — BILLIOANIRE MUGGER/ MRS. MONK

Trudy went to Madrid with Janice Ellinghouse and wrote one story with her. — MRS. MONK

Trudy drives very fast or, at least, Monk thinks so. — GAME SHOW

Trudy loved New York City. — MANHATTAN

Trudy gave Adrian a wrist watch which now doesn't work anymore, though he wears it anyway. — CAPTAIN’S WIFE

Trudy had a keychain with a "T" on it, which Adrian now uses for his keys. — PILOT

“Trudy always said that marriage was 90 percent love and 10 percent forgiveness. She was married to me, so she was sort of an expert on forgiveness." — WEDDING

Trudy sometimes calls Adrian 'my darling' — MEDICINE, COBRA

Trudy was engaged in a legal battle with Dale the Whale in 1993 because she called him the "Ghengis Khan of Finance" — DALE THE WHALE

Trudy and Adrian had to sell their starter home (which Dale bought and later used to store his pornography) to pay the legal fees resulting from Dale Biederbeck’s lawsuit. — DALE THE WHALE

Trudy and Adrian had been married 7 years when she was killed. — OTHER WOMAN

Trudy had a separate office at the time of her death for which she was paying the miniscule sum of $600 a month. — COBRA

Trudy used to pay all their bills. —Billionaire Mugger

Trudy’s last words, according to a paramedic were "Bread and butter." — DALE THE WHALE, MRS. MONK

Trudy was 34 when she died. "Every time I close my eyes she's there. She is always wearing the same dress, she is always 34, and she is so…." [If Trudy was born on October 10th 1962, she must have been killed before that date in 1997 to be 34 years old at the time of her death.] — OTHER WOMAN

Trudy has been dead four years as of 2002 — PILOT

As of October 2005 she has been dead 8 years. — GOES HOME AGAIN

As of December 2005 she has been dead 9 years. — SECRET SANTA

The man who built the bomb which killed Trudy was Warrick Tennyson. He said he was hired by a six-fingered man. — MANHATTAN

The six-fingered man is revealed to be Frank Nunn. — ON THE RUN: PART I

The Six Fingered Man was hired by "The Judge" — ON THE RUN: PART II

Trudy was buying cough medicine for Ambrose when she died. That's why she was in that parking garage or at least that’s what Ambrose thinks. — THREE PIES

Trudy lived for twenty minutes after the car exploded — CAN'T SEE A THING

Trudy's corneas survived the explosion intact. They were donated to Maria Cordova — UP ALL NIGHT

Trudy died on December 14th 1997 — UP ALL NIGHT

Trudy’s gravestone reads: ‘Trudy Anne Monk 1962-1997 Beloved Wife and Daughter.’ — PILOT, THREE PIES


Recap of what we know about Trudy's murder
By Olivia

Trudy's Case File

It happened at 9:00 AM and no one else was hurt or killed. This is written in the headlines of the papers Adrian is going over in “Mr. Monk and the Candidate”, but the smaller print in the articles below this doesn’t say anything about her murder. They look like articles from the financial section, probably just put in by Monk prop people to have something below the headlines to look real.

Trudy Headline
Click on photo to enlarge

The headlines read:

Blast Kills Award Winning Columnist – Trudy Anne Monk was killed instantly when her car exploded this morning. Nobody else was hurt, she was 35.

Monk Murder Still Unsolved – Three months after Trudy Monk was killed in a car explosion, police are no closer to solving the crime, says spokesman.

Explosion Rips Through Parkade Killing One – Unexplained blast at 9 A.M. this morning killed journalist Trudy Anne Monk, police have no explanation. (This article has no date on it: neither did any of the others.)


Detective's Wife Slain – Decorated detective in shock after hearing report.

No Links To Other Car Bombing Suspected – Detective Adrian Monk of the San Francisco Police has failed to produce evidence linking Monk car bombing with drug cartel.

The parking spot was number B5, or close to B5, as indicated by the post in the background of the photos of the scene.

She was somewhere near a drug store, picking up medicine for Ambrose (THREE PIES). The trigger was a cell phone. I assume that the killer set the bomb off by dialing the number. Considering this, I think it is likely that the person wanted to be certain that Trudy was the victim, probably to be sure she was the only victim. He/she wanted complete control over when the bomb went off. He/she possibly even followed Trudy to know exactly when was the best time to plant the bomb and to detonate it.

We don't know if the parking garage where Warwick Tennyson met Frank to deliver the bomb is the same garage where Trudy was murdered. [I don’t think there is any reason to assume it is.] The detonation method was given to us by Warrick Tennyson in “Manhattan.” Also we learned from him that a six fingered man named Frank hired him, paid him $2000, and met him in a parking garage. [USA Network’s Monk episode guide refers to the six-fingered man as Frank. In the episode as aired, Tennyson calls him a "freak." He does not say "Frank."] The amount of plastique used has been mentioned, but is inconsistent (10lbs in “Manhattan”, 3lbs in “Theater.”)

There was another car bombing in the Bay Area close to the same time, which Monk couldn't link to Trudy's bombing. This to me seems very odd. Car bombing shouldn't be that common, should they? Two car bombings in a short period of time in the same area would usually indicate a link, unless the second one was a copy-cat or done to make the police think it was related to the first bombing. The parking level Trudy was on was underground, I believe, because Sharona's vehicle in “The Candidate” was pointed downward when she was going to pick him up and Benjy asked what Monk was doing. You could assume that all or most parking garages in San Francisco are underground, but I don't think that's likely. [Not only likely, but absolutely true.]

We know from “Employee of the Month” that Joe Christie, Adrian's partner, was with him when the call came through about Trudy's murder and that Adrian was laughing when the phone rang, but no one has seen him laugh since. So we know that someone was with him and can confirm his whereabouts when it happened, as well as his reaction to the news.

In “Dale the Whale”, Dale said that her last words, according to the coroner's inquest, were “bread and butter” and he taunted Adrian about it, wondering what it meant and if it was a message to him. Adrian later told Sharona that this was something Trudy always said when they were holding hands but had to let go for a moment because someone walked between them or a pole was in their path. He thought it meant she was trying to tell him she had to let go for a little while but it wouldn't be forever. I don't think most people think of the phrase this way, to mean this. I have more often heard it to mean where the money they live on comes from, like her and Adrian's jobs were their bread and butter, just as an example.

[From the Word Detective.com http://www.word-detective.com, in response to a reader’s question on the origin of the phrase “bread and butter” with this meaning:

I'm glad you asked this question, because I have heard this odd phrase from my wife for more than 25 years. We will be walking down the street, and every time we are separated by an obstruction in our path (parking meter, movie star, alien spacecraft, whatever), she will demand that I say "bread and butter." Until now I presumed that this quaint ritual was a throwback to her childhood spent in short-order diners, but apparently this "bread and butter" business is more widespread than I had thought.

But it's not so widespread as to be well-documented, evidently. Only one source (the Dictionary of American Regional English, or DARE) of many that I checked even mentioned the phrase. DARE explains it as "an exclamation used when two people walking together are momentarily separated by someone or something coming between them." The earliest citation listed by DARE is from The Federal Writers Project "Guide to Kansas" published in 1939, where the "bread and butter" ritual is described as a "ubiquitous" incantation among schoolchildren of the area. If it was ubiquitous in 1939, the ritual is probably much older, possibly dating back to at least the 19th century.

"Bread and butter" is not listed in one place I hoped to find it, Iona and Peter Opie's "The Lore and Language of Schoolchildren" (Oxford University Press, 1959). As this extraordinarily fine volume (now, unbelievably, out of print) covers only the British Isles, "bread and butter" may be a native American creation.

As to its meaning, I think it's simply one of a number of rituals children follow, on the order of "step on a crack and break your mother's back," designed to invoke magical protection from bad luck. In this case, the fact that bread and butter "go together" gives the ritual power an affirmation of togetherness, lest a momentary separation be an omen of permanent one.

I first heard the phrase with this meaning in a Twilight Zone episode. I believe it’s the episode “The Incredible World of Horace Ford” starring Pat Hingle. When he walks between two young lovers they say the phrase and then clasp hands again. As soon as I heard Dale say it, I associated the phrase with this usage, which agrees with the one above.]

In “Goes to Jail,” Dale said that the bomb that killed Trudy was meant for her, not Adrian, even though Adrian always believed it was meant for him. [Of course, there’s always the possibility that Dale was lying.] Dale also told Adrian to go to New York to find Warrick Tennyson because he had information about and was “involved” in Trudy's death.

[In "On the Run: Parts I & II " we learn that the six fingered man who hired Tennyson, is Frank Nunn. He had been out of the country since Trudy's death. Dale the Whale knows who he is and lures him back, ostensibly to kill the govenor, but mainly to be killed so that Adrian can be set up for his murder. Later, when Monk has been cleared, they discover papers while searching Nunn's apartment which state that he was hired by "The Judge" to kill Trudy. Dale claims not to know the judge's identity.]

From “Billionaire Mugger” we find out that a scrap of paper from Trudy’s appointment book for the day before she died read, '530 Kelly Street, Mr. Simon.' Adrian initially assumed it meant an address, but every year (presumably about the same date) he realizes that it might have meant 5:30 as a time and Kelly Street as a person. He goes to the home of a woman named Kelly Street, but then blocks it out of his memory.

Kelly Street Paper
Click on photo to enlarge

In this episode, the door is answered by Ms. Street's sister, who I assumed hadn't met him before because she didn't seem to remember him. Maybe she was visiting that year? She tells Adrian that Mr. Simon was her sister's dog and Kelly hadn't been able to bury him so she had him stuffed. Maybe Trudy was doing a story about that, because it is something people might consider strange. Then Kelly comes in and tells Monk that he's been back every year to ask about his wife's murder, but he doesn't remember.

Trudy’s last entry into her appointment book is the one about Kelly Street. We aren’t given any information about what, if anything, Monk might have found out on previous visits that he may now be blocking out.

Also on the scrap of paper is a note in red ink 'P/U Dry Cleaning' and in sort of lighter black ink 'Quincey's B-day.' (Assuming this is how they know it was for the day before her murder, different inks indicate notes were written at different times, with different pens.) Finally, in darker black ink, '530 Kelly Street' is written. Justbelow that in the same ink, parallel to this is what looks like 're.' with most of what follows missing. Then below that, same ink, but on the line rather slanted across the page are the words 'Mr. Simon'. I wonder if this indicates that it was written at a different time from the note above it about Kelly Street.

Among the things that Adrian has at his home as evidence, besides the scrap from the appointment book:

A watch

Newspaper clippings from the days or weeks after the murder

Photos of the crime scene

Copies of the police reports

death date

click on photos to enlarge

One Forensics lab report says that they also recovered hair, her watch, contents of her purse and clothing fragments and has the date on the report as 11/11/97. [This date would not correspond to her being born on October 10 in 1962 and being 34 at the time of her death. She would have been 35. It also contradicts the December 14th date of death given in "Mr. Monk is Up All Night".] Also listed on the forensic's report besides the hair, clothing fragments, watch and purse contents was 1.5 cm. of red wire.

Trudy's Grave
That's Trudy's grave, isn't it?— Dr. Lancaster
"Mr. Monk Goes to the Asylum"

lilac bar 3

Stellina Rusich


Stellina Rusich was born in Edmonton Alberta and is currently based in LA & Vancouver. Her genre roles have included the feature film Unforgettable and The Invitation and the TV movie Murder in my Mind. She has also had guest spots on the TV series' The Lone Gunmen and The Outer Limits. Stellina played the recurring role of Trudy Monk on Monk during season one and season two.

Stellina Title

On March 14th 2006 Stellina kindly granted me a phone interview. She talked about her role on Monk and the rest of her career.

How did you get the role of Trudy?

They were auditioning in Vancouver. They were doing the pilot episode in Vancouver. Originally it was supposed to be a very small part but a very pivotal point for Monk in the show, because of his great love for Trudy. The show was eventually moved to Toronto in the first season after shooting the pilot in Vancouver.

And you were featured in one of those episodes?

I was in one in Toronto [Mr. Monk and the Other Woman] and then it was moved again to Los Angeles so Tony [Shalhoub] could be closer to his family.

So was he easy to work with?

Yes, definitely. He was very, very engaging. Very talented. As good as he is in the show, he’s really better in person. He’s amazing, just amazing.

Before you were cast in Monk, you also played a dead wife in Unforgettable. Do you think they’d seen that when they cast you?

I’m not sure. That was with Ray Liotta. I’m not sure. It definitely wasn’t the same casting director. It’s another one of those roles where I was very passive.

How do you like those roles?

I’m moving away from that.

The role of Trudy started out very small. Were you expecting more as the show went along?

I really wasn’t sure. I wasn’t sure at all. You never know with a pilot.

Trudy Portraits
Do you think how Trudy was presented was just Adrian’s memories of her or was it the real Trudy?

I think he’s put her on a bit of a pedestal in terms of…. In a way I think he created an illusion of what she is. I think he created someone

sort of beyond her. Because of his great love, he developed a fantasy.

What kind of person did you think she really was?

I think she was very practical and she was fun. An intelligent woman, but fun loving and she had a job that she did well. I think they had a great love.

Do you know why the role was recast?

I think the role was recast, and this is what I heard, they don’t tell you directly, to fly a Canadian down for just a day or two is difficult and expensive. If they need a Trudy to come in it’s usually just for one day. For me they can’t do that. They have to bring me in for at least two days and make sure my schedule is clear. But you have a role, an important role, a pivotal role, but it’s not like she has a lot of dialogue and it doesn’t take a lot of time. So they needed another woman in L.A. they could just bring in for one day.

What kind of effect did the role have on your career? Did you get recognized for it at all?

No, not really. The show has done great. I think it was good to be on the show in some ways. It’s good to be on a show that wins awards, but as far as my career or being recognized, not really.

So I noticed, looking through your other credits, you’re listed as a composer on a film.

Yes, that was a film called Little Boy Blues. I played piano in that also.

You also teach acting, right?

Yes, I teach at a school, in fact I’m doing a workshop today and tomorrow.

Does that help you in your own acting?

Yes, definitely. It’s makes me more creative.

Do you find that when you are working that you evaluate the other actors from the standpoint?

When I’m working on the set, you mean? I think you do, because you do it all the time, but you never ever say anything to the other actors in that sort of situation. But I do a lot of coaching as well.

Why did you choose to go into acting?

I think originally it was because I wanted to get more attention at home.

So is anyone else in your family an actor?

My brother and his daughter.

Are there certain kind of roles you’re looking for now?

I’m looking for something daring typically, because there are some things I don’t want to do anymore, because I’ve done a lot of, for lack of

The Victim

a better word, a lot of victim roles where someone is really taking away your power or you’re killed or that sort of thing. So I’m not really interested in that anymore, because there’s no recompense. You know what I mean? Because you don’t get anything back. The character doesn’t get to have revenge or get the other person back in some way. Something is taken away from you and you’re not allowed to get it back. So the things that I’m looking for now are…. I think I like to play pretty complex roles, something that really delves into someone’s psyche, like really conflicted people. That would be of interest to me. I don’t know, it could be something as bizarre as a pedophile or a sociopath.

Have you had a chance to do anything like that yet?

I have played some murderers, definitely. In the show that I did last year, it’s called Terminal City, I was playing this Polish woman who has an affair with a fifteen year old boy. I’ve done three or four episodes of that, but they haven’t really explored her character or why she’s doing what she’s doing. So I’d really like to delve more into her behavior as to why she’s doing this. I find that…. I find human behavior really fascinating. I think if I wasn’t an actress I might have been some kind of, I don’t know, investigator of some sort, because that really does interest me.

So is that series still on, Terminal City?

It was aired and I believe it’s going to be picked up because there’s been a really wonderful response from it. And I think the channels it plays on are the more risqué channels, definitely because of the subject matter. So yes, I think it will be going again.

And that stars Maria Del Mar, who was also in a Monk episode? [Monica Waters in “Mr. Monk and the Other Woman”]

Yes, and Gil Bellows from that show. You know that show?

Ally McBeal, that’s the one he was in.

Ally McBeal. Thank you.

What’s your favorite role?

I think my favorite role…. Actually, I recently did Night of the Iguana, a Tennessee Williams play. And I was cast very unusually in a role and it was this spinster lesbian Texas bible woman teacher.

Oh, right. I’ve seen the film. That’s a great role.

It’s a great role and I played that role and no one normally would have cast me for because they see me sort of as more of a leading lady. But this was a really fun role. So that’s one of my favorite roles I’ve done. I love doing character roles. In fact I love doing a lot of comedy. I’ve got a comedy reel which is really, really fun. I love doing that.

Monk and Trudy at Home
So do you think it will be easier to get character roles as you get older?

I think so, but I think I’m moving more into directing and teaching because I find it very gratifying to kind of help others especially young people because they are so mixed up. I just find so many young people are

so confused about what they want. They have a lot of talent, but they don’t have someone to nurture them or to mentor them. I find it really rewarding to see some one blossom and develop. So I don’t know what acting holds for me in the future. It has to be very specific things. There are things I’m turning down that I don’t want to do anymore. You know my first job was when I was ten, so I’ve been doing this a long time. I did a commercial when I was ten. So I’ve done like 65 commercials now and I’ve done you know lots of stuff starting at a very young age.

Do you remember what the commercial was for?

Oh, yes. It was the anti-pollution commercial. It was to… It was like a public service commercial where I was singing and this girl and I did this little dance and it was about keeping the water clean and putting trash away and you know not littering.

So, you’ll never forget it?

Stellina: I could sing it for you right now.

Oh? Go ahead.

[She sings.]
Let’s clean up the water
Let’s clean up the air
Let’s all get together
Let’s all do our share
Put trash in the basket
Don’t litter the street
Remember, remember
to keep our world clean
Come on now get busy
Get into the scene
Everyone’s pickin’
to keep our world clean
Let’s clean up the water
Let’s clean up the air
Let’s all get together
Let’s all do our share

Stellina sings
Click to hear Stellina sing.

Stellina: I think it was a 30 second spot.

Do you remember every role that well?

Stellina: Uh, no. I don’t know why I remember that one. I don’t know why.

Hard to forget, I think.

Stellina: I think so.

Just one more question. Do you have any phobias or quirks of your own?

Phobias? Oh, as in how it compares to Monk?


Well, I really don’t like to fly even though I fly a lot. I do a lot of deep breathing and I really try to distract myself when I’m flying. Hmm… phobias. Not so much phobias I’d say. I do have some quirks. Definitely. I have things that I do that are…. people laugh at me all the time. I have a thing I do with my tongue. I stick out my tongue a little bit when I’m concentrating and I play piano and when I play piano I do this thing with my tongue and it sticks out the front of my mouth like a little, I don’t know, like a little sheep. I am very fussy about organizing and keeping things neat and clean. I would say that I’m almost fanatic about that and also my teeth. I really do have a thing about keeping my teeth super clean. I’m always flossing and rinsing. My teeth have to be really, really clean. I think that’s enough.

That’s very good. I thank you very much for doing this.

Kirk Talent Agencies Inc.
1006 Beach Ave. 8th flr
Vancouver, BC V6E 1T7

Melora Hardin


In the third and fourth season of Monk the role of Trudy is played by Melora Hardin. She was born Melora Diane Hardin on June 29th 1967 in Houston, Texas. She was twice nominated for a Young Artist Award (1984, 1987) and won the award in 1985. She is married with two daughters, Rory born in September 2001 and Piper born in 2005. (Sharp-eyed Monk fans noted that Melora was in "the family way" when shooting the season three episode "Mr. Monk vs. the Cobra.") Melora is also an accomplished singer She Released a CD entitled "The Meloradrama".

Melora letter

From Ego and Creativity
by Douglas Eby

Melora Hardin finds that working as an actor "you're constantly being tested. It's such a team environment, doing any kind of show or movie, so you're constantly maneuvering around all these different personalities.

"It's sometimes hard to stay in awareness because you've got to create a good working situation with these people, and the tendency is to let the ego come marching in and think it can take care of everything, and make everybody comfortable.

"I always envision my ego as a marching soldier who says 'I've got everything under control' and tries to be like my Knight in Shining Armor, like this very heroic character, and ultimately it's really not.

"The best part of you for the team is your awareness, the part of you that can actually sit back and be patient." But, she notes, awareness is a slower process, and "there's not a lot of support for that in our culture. We're a much more fast-paced society that appreciates and rewards the fast thinker, the fast talker, the wise-cracker, the banter. That's definitely true in filmmaking. Not that awareness can't banter, it certainly can, but the ego gets more strokes than awareness does."

Hardin says that beside the awareness training classes she has had (at the Rocamora School), what helps is "anything that connects me with my body. Dancing and yoga, any physical activity, anything that is quieting and intimate and personal to you. Dancing can be incredibly self-focused, but with a specific, focused intention. You can be really self-centered, but it's not in a way that spins out your ego; it's focused on achieving a task, like making the line from my hand to my toe more beautiful today than it was yesterday.

"There's something so meditative and completely egoless about that. Anything where you have to focus so intently on what the discipline calls for is a great way to keep yourself quiet and focused-in. It just makes your brain shut up."

• Won, Young Artist Award
Best Young Supporting Actress
in a Daytime or Nightime Drama for Two Marriages

The Kohner Agency
9300 Wilshire Blvd.
Beverly Hills, CA 90212

Melora's Trudy

lilac bar 3

From "Mr. Monk Meets the Playboy"

Hold me Adrian, my darling husband.
True love's touch so rare a gift.
How much more precious is your caress
who loves so deeply,
yet fears the warmth of hand on hand.
Still, your love is given free only to me,
only to me.

—Trudy Monk

From "Mr. Monk and Mrs. Monk"

The snows that burn away
Like tears of god
Reveal the world anew
We are reborn
Nothing is lost forever

—Trudy Monk

“Trudy Remembers”
by Aldebaran

I was looking for
a story that day—just not
the one that found me.

The station was full,
busy with cops trying to
cope with life’s fallout.

Except in one hall
where a hushed, expectant line
of cops caught my eye.

I asked the closest
detective, someone I knew
from past work I’d done.

Stottlemeyer said,
“That’s Monk. He’s something special.
They want his advice.”

He grinned down at me,
mustache quirked. “He sees things most
people don’t—or can’t.”

Sounds like a story,
I thought. I waited some time,
while the line dwindled.

At last—Monk himself
emerged. Dark skin, darker hair,
big smile, firm and fit.

His eyes met mine--and
we’d known each other always,
though we were strangers.

I had always said
I would know him when I met
him—and I was right.

He knew me, of course,
from the paper. I found out
he’d read all my work.

It didn’t take us long
to recognize love, though it
was new to us both.

I felt I could spend
forever with him. Each day
we’d learn something new.

Later, I asked where
he found the courage to speak,
to close the distance.

He said he had to--
needed to—like leaving home,
becoming a cop.

He’d worked his whole life
for those desires his heart knew
were stronger than fear.

On the day we met,
I found a story that would
be never-ending.

That day, though we had
worked and dreamed before, was the
day our lives began.

Adrian and Trudy

Memories of Spring
by Aldebaran

Spring stirs memories...
Trudy's delight, her bare toes
caressed by green grass,

high sun smiling on
her hair, soft breezes bringing
cloud shadow coolness.

Sitting together,
her tender look as I warmed
her feet in my hands,

knowing I loved her,
cold toes and all, would never
dream of changing her

and knowing she loved
me, and had never asked me
to change who I was.

Complete acceptance,
which changed each of us more than
asking ever would...

The sunny glow of
these memories is tinged by
the coldness of loss…

I struggle daily
for the sun, knowing she’d want
me to remember

the warmth of our love,
and that, despite loss, it’s still
a beautiful world…

....inspired by a cool, bright spring day, "Blackout" and "Game Show"

lilac bar 3

Trudy Anne Monk

Content provided by Olivia, Aldebaran, the gang at the USA Network Message Board, Stellina Rusich, Douglas Eby, Lesa Kirk, The IMDB, USA Network, Jeff Beal and Electric Artists. Graphics by Whisper.

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