TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALLGAME


by T 'n' T
Saturday August 5th 1995


     A softball game was scheduled at six pm that night

between the Soap Opera All Star Team, and the local Radio

All Star Team, to be played at Hi Corbett field (Home of the

triple A Tucson Toros).  Before the game the Soap Team made

an appearance at a local mall.

     Things did not go terribly well at the Mall.  Sheryl,

Cookie Boy, and the two of us, were standing up by the

stage.  The autograph line wasn't very long so we had

decided not to get in it until later.  Sheryl and Teresa

spotted Christian Taylor (as in Kurth/Taylor, Idle Rich) in

the crowd, next to the piano, but we didn't believe it was

really him... out in the crowd... not wearing a team shirt.

The others came in, Brian Dattilo (Lucas DOOL), Brent Jasmer

(Jeff B&B), Paul Kersey (Alan DOOL), William Christian,

(Derek AMC) and Timothy Stickney (R.J. OLTL) Christopher

Fuller (Sly ATWT), all dressed in their team jerseys and

Christian Taylor, in his blue denim jacket, came out of the

crowd and joined them on stage.

     Disaster #1.  The sound system did not work.  Mall

personnel kept trying to get it to work throughout the

event.

     Disaster #2.  The team pitcher, and manager, Taylor

(NOT Christian) announced that they would not be signing any

autographs, until the game that night when they could

charge.  This was not pleasing to the small crowd which

could have been accomodated without taking up more than an

hour.

     Then the Q&A began.  This was a bit difficult without

microphones.  But it was established that none of the actors

except Timothy Stickney are married, and that Lucas (Brian

Dattilo) is very popular with small Tucson crowds.  We

couldn't hear many other questions on that side of the

stage.

     Christian went over to help with the sound system.  Our

hopes soared.  Surely a musical professional like himself

could fix the recalcitrant equipment.  And the microphone

did show some signs of life so they handed it to Brian

Dattilo.  It promptly stopped working.  Brian jauntily began

to swing the mike in a circle.  It flew off the cord, hit

the ground, and the resulting shrapnel hit a young lady in

the crowd. (That was disaster #3).  Brian immediately leapt

off the stage and went into the crowd to see if the girl was

okay.  Subsequently the young lady received hugs and kisses

from Brian and other team members, an autographed t-shirt,

and a dinner invitation.  Other members of the crowd were

heard to mutter, "Hit me!"

     Christian gave up on the malfunctioning microphones and

returned to his seat with a resigned shrug.  The team

members now had down the trick of leaving their seats to

come to the front of the stage so that the fans could hear

them.  Timothy Stickney was asked where he lived.  New York

of course, and he loves living there.  Teresa asked if R.J.

was really bad or just misunderstood.  Just misunderstood,

he replied with a killer grin.  Shortly afterwards he saw

someone he knew in the crowd and jumped down to engage her

and nearby fans in conversations for most of the rest of the

event.

     Finally it was Christian's turn, and we had a question.

Our Kurth/Taylor tape was pulled out as a visual aid.  Which

of the songs on the album had C.T. written?  He asked to

have the tape handed up and read off the ones that were his.

And we asked if he had also written "Stay With Me", the song

the Idle Rich performed on GH that was not on the tape.

Yes, he and Wally wrote it.  He said they'd be releasing

another soon, and that they were trying to arrange a gig in

Phoenix.  He mentioned that they were considering releasing

"Lyin' King" as a country single.

     Christian began, surreptiously, to sign some

autographs, as the manager (Fat Boy) Taylor (We really did

not like this guy.  He really couldn't project, microphone

or no microphone.  Also we knew he wouldn't let us get

autographs because he wanted to CHARGE for them at the game

that evening.  But mostly we refer to him as Fat Boy to

differentiate between him and Christian, because we can't

recall Mr. Taylor's first name.) was occupied at the other

end of the stage trying to prevent Brian Dattilo from

surreptiously giving away his autograph.  Brian did manage

to buy some raffle tickets from one of the young ladies in

the crowd.

     Teresa and Cookie Boy had to leave at this point to

search for facilities.

     Then they had a raffle (Disaster #4).  They had a

couple autographed scripts and some autographed t-shirts.

(Fat Boy) Taylor decided that the best way to run a raffle

was to pick a number between one and ten and ask whoever was

nearest to him to guess the number.  This did not work

tolerably well, because sans microphone, no one could hear

what numbers had been guessed and no one at the back of the

crowd could play.  Not only that the actors couldn't hear

him and gave the wrong things away.

     The entertaining disaster broke up.  Christian Taylor

slipped into the crowd again and went his own way. (Team

bus?  We don't think so!)  The other's went to Hungry Hunter

for lunch.

     Sheryl and I rejoined Teresa and Cookie Boy.  We went

out to the car, which we had purposely parked close to the

exit that the Soap Team was using.  They were still waiting

for their transportation.  It was a toasty 107 degrees out,

with a fair amount of humidity.  Chris Fuller and Brent

Jasmer had taken off their shirts.  Understandably we slowed

down as we drove past.  "Hey, guys, you need a lift?"

Teresa shouted.

     Brian shouted back, "Do you have air-conditioning?"

     "No," We had to admit.  We must remember to get the

freon recharged.

     "Move along," they chorused.



     We took Cookie Boy home for a nap break and had a bite

to eat, before going to the game that evening.  We were now

accompanied by Sheryl's significant other, Matt, who wasn't

letting her go out to meet soap hunks alone, any more often

than he could avoid.  Cookie Boy was well rested and

repeated enthusiastically, "Ballgame, ballgame!".

     When we got to Hi-Corbett field, we had to wait in

line, in 110 degree heat, where they kept us waiting until

fifteen minutes before the game started.  We went and sat

over by the first base line, near the dugout and watched as

the soap all-stars practiced.  Then the radio all-stars

practiced. (Not very exciting.)

     The game began.  The soap team was good.  The radio

team was pathetic.  Ladies, if you ever get a chance to see

Timothy Stickney (OLTL) catch, do not pass it up.  They

played five innings.  The radio team scored one run in the

first inning and then it was all soap scoring.  The

scorching hot day was cooled off by a sudden cloudburst,

that lasted about ten minutes and made a lovely rainbow over

the left field bleachers.  This was pointed out to the crowd

by the sensitive William Christian (AMC).

     When the score was seventeen to one (despite the

scoreboard keeper's tendency to disregard a soap run every

once in a while) the game was pretty much conceded.  The

Soap Stars took pity on the Radio folks and let them get a

few runs in the bottom half of the inning.

     We went over to the tent behind the third base

bleachers, where we had sent Matt to hold us a place in

line.  But there wasn't a line, just a large group of people

wondering where they should stand.  Eventually they began to

form themselves into a line.  We had ended up a little

behind Matt and Sheryl and Cookie Boy happily ran between

the two points.

     A former co-employee of Teresa's joined us in line,

with her teenage daughter.  Her daughter was a DOOL fan who

was now tuning into GH because there are so many Days people

there.  They'd been at the Mall, so we laughed about the

microphone incident. We played a little of the Kurth/Taylor

tape for her.  The Toro's employees set out the photos and

t-shirts.  The deal was this, one autograph free, one dollar

for each autograph after that, unless you buy a photo of the

star, which includes an autograph (B&W $5) or a t-shirt

($15) which included the autographs of all the stars.

     The Soap Stars arrived and sat down at their tables.

The line finally began to move.  Before we got up to the

front Matt, Sheryl and Cookie Boy were already through the

line.  They'd gotten Brian Dattilo's autograph.  Sheryl had

given Brian a big hug, and he said that he had really needed

that.  Matt offered to let Brian sign Cookie Boy's forehead.

Somebody thought better of it.  Cookie Boy and family didn't

want to stay for the real game (Toros vs Edmonton Trappers),

so they asked for the car keys and split. (Matt was going to

come back when they had regained their own transportation.)

     We got to the front of the line.  We did not buy

pictures, t-shirts or additional autographs.  We just wanted

one each.  Teresa was going to get Christian's on our

Kurth/Taylor cassette tape and I was going to get Timothy

Stickney's for Linda.  (Fat Boy) Taylor immediately passed

Teresa to Christian's table.  "This lady's for you,

Christian."  C.T. recognized her and asked her how she had

enjoyed the weekend events in Los Angeles. She gave him his

top ten list (Top Ten Things The Idle Rich Are Going To Do

With The Proceeds From Their First CD), and he said he'd

seen this one. (Hmm... is there a leak here on RATSA?

Wendy, maybe?  She said she reads it all.) Teresa got in an

extra autograph on the 5x7 of her and C.T. at the Phoenix

gig.  Christopher Fuller, unoccupied at the moment, looked

over at the photo. "Geeze, look at that hair!"  Referring to

C.T.'s longer hairstyle in those days.  C.T. looked up at

Teresa.  "Your hair was longer too.  Oh, this was taken at

the same time." [As the photo on the button.]

     In the meantime (Fat Boy) Taylor, led me over to

Timothy Stickney, with his usual "This girl's for you,

Timothy."  I asked him if he couldn't rephrase that.

Timothy laughed and when I came up for the autograph, said

"Yeah, this is the one for me."  I had him sign the SOD for

Linda, but did not disabuse him of the notion that the

autograph was for me. (Sorry, Linda, I couldn't help it.)

     We went down to the end of the autograph tables, where

Tuffy the Toro (mascot) was giving a Birthday party.  We

hung out there for awhile, which gave us a good view of

Brian Dattilo signing autographs.  A little drama ensued as

two of the sheriffs caught five kids trying to sneak into

the ballpark (from the fenced area right behind the soap

stars).  The Sheriff asked them, authoritatively, "Have you

kids got tickets?  How did you get in here?  Did you climb

over the fence?"  The second Sheriff walked a little

distance away so he could laugh where the kids couldn't see

him.

     Then the Toros general manager (and Radio All Star's

pitcher) Mike Feder.  Joined the sheriff in interrogating

the children.  "You, kids ever been in trouble before?"

They shook their heads no. "Do you know how much it costs

for all of you to get in here?"  The sheriff deadpanned.

"Six hundred and thirty-seven dollars."

     They brought them in to the park.  "Do your parent's

know where you are?"  After a while the authorities

relented.  "Okay, we'll let you off this time."  Then they

sat them all down and wrote down their names.

     This excitement was interrupted by Cathy and her

daughter finally making their way to the end of the line.

(They had gotten a t-shirt, so everyone had to sign it.)

I took a picture of Cathy's daughter with Brian who gladly

accepted a hug from her, too. "I'll take what I can get," he

said.

     We stopped and got a beer and then went up to the third

base bleachers so we could watch the real game and still

keep an eye on Christian directly below us.  It was the

bottom of the fourth when Trapper, Mike Macsudian popped a

foul over the third base bleachers.  A fan raced over and

picked it up.  Christian, not signing at the time, stood up

and looked around to see who had gotten the ball.

     Teresa handed me her beer.  Our attention went back to

the field as the batter hit another foul to the third base

bleachers.  I didn't see it until it was about two feet away

from my face, by which time it was too late to prevent it

from hitting my hand and bouncing into my beer.  I dropped

the beer and grabbed the ball.  No doubt the soap stars at

the table directly below us wondered if it had started

raining again.  Our fellow fans were a great help.  One of

them offered us a can of beer to replace the lost one.

Another had a look at my hand and went off to get me some

ice to put on it. (In the meantime, I put the beer on it.)

     The announcement came over the P.A. system. "Teresa

Murray report to the guest relations window."  Did they want

the ball back?  No, it was just Matt coming back with the

car keys.  When Teresa got back I went back down to the Soap

area, to have C.T. sign my foul ball.  He had apparently

noticed me catching it, and writhing in agony afterwards.

He was concerned and listened attentively as I described the

"catch" in detail.  He signed it, "OUCH! Sorry about your

hand!  Hope you feel better. Love C.T."

     By now there was no line left, just one or two people

behind me.  So, I took the opportunity to ask C.T. if he

would do an interview with us.  He asked what it was for,

and I told him we'd be putting it on the internet.  He said

sure.  I gesticulated wildly to Teresa up in the stands

(because she had the tape recorder) and she came down. (With

my ice bag, thank goodness.)  We waited for C.T. to sign the

last t-shirt.  The party broke up and the other soap stars

started to leave.  One of the Toro's girl's asked C.T. if he

wasn't coming.  He told her, no, he wsn't going with the

group, he'd already made other arrangements.  Then we sat

down at the table and did the interview. [We'll be posting

that separately.]

     After that Christian gave us both warm hugs, good-bye,

and asked us to mail him a copy of the interview.  The rest

of the game was uneventful, except for getting Tuffy the

Toro (A large red bull) to sign my foul ball. He signed it

"Nice catch, Tuffy Toro".  Oh, and the Toros lost, 7 to 4.

T n' T

Roving RATSA Reporters

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