SUBSPACE COMMUNICATIONS - ORDERS FROM
THE DEPARTMENT OF TEMPORAL INVESTIGATIONS
Stardate 9611.226

Captain Jean Luc Picard you are instructed to return to the year 1996 and investigate no fewer than 242 anomalies that have been detected in one small geographical area known as Port Charles, New York. We want you to find the source of these time disruptions. You must be very careful not to become caught up in them. Try to blend in and please no souveniers. We'll expect to see your reports on our desk before you get back.

T 'n' T
DTI Supervisors - Soap Division

Log Entry - Captain Jean Luc Picard - Earth Time November 24th 1996

We have reached Earth and used the preferred sling-shot method to travel back in time. Our orders may be difficult to carry out in this primitive time period. I am sending my officers down to the surface to conduct discreet interviews with the residents of Port Charles. After monitoring the local news coverage we have detected the "hot spots" in town and I will be sending an officer to each. I, myself, will be going to a local eating establishment known as "The Outback".

While I was on my mission reconnoitering "The Outback", Commander Riker was looking up a local family with a strange record of time anomalies. Later he turned in the following report. Since then I've had to discourage him from putting up a large portrait of one of the subjects in Ten Forward.

First Officer's Log - Commander William T. Riker

My assignment was to track down, The Spencers, a well-known local family with ties to several of the time anomalies. I finally found Laura Spencer in the garden of her centrally located house on the outskirts of town. Her son, Lucky, stood beside her. I immediately noticed one violation of temporal laws. She was far too young and attractive to be the mother of a teenager.
..... I was cleverly disguised as a vacuum cleaner salesman. "Hello, Madam, I'm with Vortex Vacuum cleaners, and we're offering a free demonstration today."
..... Laura stood up and brushed the dirt off her hands. "I don't know. I don't think we're interested..."
..... Her son interrupted her. "Hey Mom, It's free and you know what Foster did to the carpet this morning."
..... She still looked doubtful. "All right, but I'm not promising we'll buy anything."
..... "There's no obligation to buy," I said, giving her my most dazzling smile. She melted a little and smiled back. She moved past me and led the way into the house.
..... I set the vacuum cleaner down in front of the fireplace. "First I'll have to ask you some basic questions. How long have you lived in the house?"
..... "Four years," she said firmly.
..... "No, Mom," Lucky corrected her, "It's only three."
..... "Really? It seems longer," Laura mused. "But he could be right."
..... "Ah, ha. And how many children do you have in the house? And how old are they?" I asked.
..... "Well, Lesley-Lu is two years old and Lucky is fourteen," said Laura.
..... "Yeah, I was born in 1984," Lucky put in. Neither of them seemed to notice that there was a discrepancy.
..... "And do you have any other children?" I asked.
..... "None that count," said Luke Spencer as he came down the last of the steps.
..... Laura had a pained expression. "Luke this is the vacuum cleaner salesman. He's giving us a free demonstration."
..... "I'll bet. Nothing's free, baby. He asks an awful lot of questions for a salesman."
..... "Only to better serve your needs, Sir," I grinned with just the right touch of salesman's insincereity.
..... Luke examined the vacuum cleaner suspicioiusly. "And is this the miracle wonder machine you're selling? Can it suck up door to door salesmen?"
..... "Just the smaller ones," I said, keeping the grin in place. Laura smothered a smile at my comeback. The sunlight was glinting off of her golden hair and that was nothing compared to the light coming from her laughing blue eyes.
..... My train of thought was broken by a rude comment. "Yo, Vacuum boy," said Luke, "How's it work?"
..... "Well, you just turn it on with the big red switch there," I pointed at it.
..... Lucky reached for the switch, and Luke blocked his hand. "Not so fast, Cowboy. This contraption could have been sent over here by you know who."
..... "You mean it might be a bomb?" Lucky asked nervously.
..... "Of course, it's not a bomb," I said impatiently. I reached over and flipped on the switch. The suction was a little stronger than I expected and I had to leap over the main piece to grab the other end before it sucked up the loose knick knacks on the coffee table.
..... Luke applauded. "So this is the next generation of vacuum cleaners; not like the classic ones."
..... "These are guaranteed to last four years longer," I explained.
..... "Yeah, but we've got hardwood floors," Luke said. Laura smiled apologetically.
..... "Good point," I said. Suddenly, I found myself outside the house. The rest of my time with the Spencer family was now mysteriously missing. I checked my chronometer. Only two and a half minutes had elapsed. This was definitely the "commercial break" phenomenon that I'd been warned about.

Our investigations have uncovered further proof of the time anomalies, however we seem to be no closer to discovering the cause. I am hoping that Mr. Data can ascertain the source of the temporal disruptions, when he visits a place called Windemere, which even the residents of Port Charles consider... abnormal.

Lt. Commander Data's Personal Log:

..... It was a dark night. And even if it had not been the fog that had accumulated was sufficient to obscure most of the surrounding landscape. However, these were not unusual weather conditions for an island in upper New York in the middle of winter.
..... I was beamed down to Spoon Island, and materialized on a steep wooden stairway leading up to the main house. I knocked on the door. I was confident that they would accept my "cover". The bell was answered by a woman, whom I knew from the reports, was Alexis Davis, an expert in matters pertaining to Terran law. I introduced myself. "Hello, I am your cousin, Bob." I extended my hand in greeting, believing it was too soon to expect a hug. At this time I experienced the quick time skip, already experienced by Commander Riker during his expedition. I found myself in the foyer, walking into the sitting room. My internal timer showed that no time had elapsed. My companion seemed not to notice anything peculiar.
..... "If you could just wait here.... uh...Bob. I'll just go get my cousin."
..... "And which cousin are you referring to? Cousin Nicholas or Cousin Stefan?"
..... She stared at me, for some reason not fully accepting my story. "Just wait here."
..... While she was gone I took the time to examine some of the artwork and the dead flower arrangements. I was determining the probable hand that had painted one of the portraits, when Stefan Cassadine entered the room. He smiled. "I see you're admiring my Gainesborough. Do you like it?"
..... I looked at him and then back at the painting. "It is a very nice.... copy."
..... "Excuse me, but this is an original," Stefan said, apparently offended by my comment.
..... "No, it is not. The brush strokes indicate a different artist, and even if it did not, the paint is not of the composition used in that time period."
..... Stefan looked more closely at the painting, frowned, and turned back to me. "Who are you? I have no cousin Bob, that I can recall."
..... "I am your cousin on your Mother's side," I explained. Since he still did not seem to believe me, I elaborated. "Your Mother's Father's, Aunt was my grandmother. She married a young man from outside of Russia. She was disowned by her family. Since then her line of the family has resided in Yugoslavia. I, being a keen student of genetic research, explored my family history and discovered our relationship."
..... Stefan's eyes had begun to glaze over. "Mother's side of the family?"
..... "Yes. This places you under no obligation. I simply wished to stop by and say, hello. Hello, cousin."
..... He still looked mildly suspicious. "Well, since you're here, why don't you join us for supper. My wife and I are having a small dinner party."
..... "I would be delighted." Again there was a small time skip and I found myself seated at a table in the dining room. Barbara Spencer Cassadine was examining me, her eyes wide. "I didn't know you had a cousin from Yugoslavia, Stefan." Her tone was somewhat accusatory as if her husband had been conspiring to keep this fact from her.
..... Stefan ignored any implication. "Neither, did I," he said, nervously swirling the wine in his glass.
..... Dr. Tom Hardy narrowed his eyes. "So, lots of Cassadines in Yugoslavia, are there?"
..... "No, not anymore. I am the last of my family." I told Dr. Hardy.
..... "Really," Felicia squeaked. "What happened? The war?"
..... "No. It was a horrendous farming accident. A malfunctioning rice-picker decapitated the entire clan. I am the only survivor." Suddenly everyone at the table appeared to lose their appetite.
..... "Why don't we adjourn to the parlor." Stefan suggested.
..... "Yeah, I could use a stiff drink," said Felicia.
..... There was yet another time skip and we were back in the main room. "Remarkable."
..... "What?" asked Nicholas. Of course, none of them were aware of the discrepancy.
..... "The decor," I improvised, "there are no mirrors."
..... "Don't worry, I'm sure my new Aunt plans to install them."
..... We were about to take our seats around the picturesque fireplace when everyone in the room disappeared. I then heard them in the dining room. I had the novel experience of actually walking down a Windermere corridor, instead of time-skipping. I opened the dining room doors and found the Cassadine clan and their guests sitting down and beginning the dinner they had just eaten. Alexis observed me at the doors. "Who are you and what do you want here?" Amazing, the previous hour had been erased from their memories. Apparently my interference with the time stream had been too great and the temporal reality had rejected me.
..... "I am the florist. I have just dropped off another shipment of flowers."
..... Stefan got up and came towards me. Had he remembered something of the altered reality? He pulled his wallet out and handed me a twenty dollar bill. "Thank you, that will be all." I left, quietly closing the door behind me. The fog had lifted.