<HTML><HEAD><TITLE>The Reginald Report - December 1994</TITLE></HEAD>

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<CENTER><H2>THE REGINALD REPORT - December 1994</H2></CENTER>

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<B>December 19th 1994</B><BR>

     I watched the trial coverage on WLPC, or whatever

station that Tiffany Hill usually broadcasts from, so I

wasn't surprised when Monica came and told me that we were

having company, specifically Edward's newly revealed

grandson and Mary Mae Ward.<P>

     Personally, I was disappointed that I hadn't been able

to figure out that this was the source of tension between

Edward and Mary Mae.  With Edward one should always

calculate the chances of an extra-marital (or nearly extra

marital, in this case) affair.<P>

     I answered when the Ward's came to the door.  She

looked as comfortable as she would walking into the corner

store.  He looked like he had something on too tight.  I led

them to the parlor.<P>

     "Mrs. Ward and Justus Ward," I announced <P>

     Edward stood as Mary Mae entered the room.  Everyone

looked uncomfortable.  Mary Mae and Justus went to sit on

the couch with Lila and Edward by the fireplace. "What can I

get you to drink," Edward offered.<P>

     "Is that tea?" Mary Mae asked, nodding toward the

silver service on the table.  That was my cue, I quickly

moved around Lila to the coffee table.<P>

     "Do you take lemon, or milk and sugar?" Lila asked.<P>

     "I take it plain, thank you," Mary Mae said, much to my

relief since there was no milk left on the tray. "Justus?"

Mary Mae gave her grandson another opportunity for tea.<P>

     I poured the cup of tea.  Edward moved towards the bar.

"Maybe Justus would like something stronger," Edward

suggested.<P>

     "Nothing, thank you," Justus refused.  He might not

want an alcoholic restorative, but Edward did and he poured

himself a bourbon.<P>

     I handed Mary Mae the cup of tea and she said,

"Thanks."<P>

     "Thank you, Reginald.  That'll be all," Lila dismissed

me.  As I left I heard her say, "Mrs. Ward, I'd like to tell

you how very much I admired the courage it must have taken

to stand up in the courtroom and acknowledge Edward as your

son's father."<P>

     As I headed towards the kitchen to see if there was

enough liquor left to restock the bar, I thought to myself

that all in all, finding out that Justus was a member of the

family was one of the more placid things to happen to the

Quartermaine's in 1994.<P>

     It wasn't very long before Edward started going through

the house and gathering family members to introduce to his

newly discovered grandson.  Monica was feeling well enough

*to come down and the boys were actually both in the house

at one time.<P>

     After everyone had settled themselves, Monica started

the conversation as I served the hor's douvres. "We met when

your grandmother was in the hospital.  And then again at the

Nurses' Ball."<P>

     "Yes, of course," Justus said politely.<P>

     "As I recall it was quite an evening," Mary Mae

understated.  Though I'd not actually been there, I'd heard

of the falling scenery and abortive tango.<P>

     ""Yes, I spent most of it in the closet," Alan

reminisced.  Mary Mae gave him a curious look. "It's a long

story," Alan said as he reached over to shake Mary Mae's

hand. "I'm Monica's husband, Alan."<P>

     "You were against the incinerator," Mary Mae recalled.<P>

     "Yes, I was," Alan agreed. "You recall my son, Jason."<P>

     I set the tray of hor's douvres down on the table

behind the couch.  Jason, standing behind his grandmother,

said, "She sure does."<P>

     "And this is his brother A.J." Alan motioned to the

young man, who was seated by Edward.<P>

     "Mrs. Ward, Justus," A.J. said in greeting.<P>

     "I see the family resemblance," Mary Mae said to keep

the conversation rolling.<P>

     "We have Dad to blame for that," A.J. said.<P>

     "Actually they're half brothers, but Jason has been

mine since he was an infant," said Monica.  Well, if they

were going to get into a discussion of the complex family

relationships, I was leaving.<P>

     As I went through the door, Ned echoed my thoughts.

"This family is used to complications, believe me."<P>

     I went upstairs and busied myself putting away unused

Christmas decorations and tried not to think about

complications.<P>

<P><BR>

<B>December 21st 1994  Winter Solstice</B><BR>

     I had already let in one guest that morning; the

interesting, Miss Myrna Slaughter.  Edward came down and I

left them breakfasting together.  A brief time later Justus

Ward arrived.  I led him to the parlor as Edward had earlier

instructed me to do. "Mr. Ward is here, sir," I announced.<P>

     "Oh, show him in, Reginald," Mr Quartermaine said as he

got up from the couch.<P>

     Justus was right on my heels and did not need to be

ushered in. "Come in," said Edward and he reached out to

shake Justus' hand. "Come in," he repeated, perhaps

because of the younger man's obvious reserve.<P>

     I slipped out of the room.<P>

<P><BR>

     Later that same day, I heard from the upstairs maid

that Edward had left in a hurry, Ned and Justus with him,

off to the courthouse.  I worried as I knew this must mean

that the verdict was in.  But I didn't have long to wait.

Mr. Quartermaine and company arrived home expeditiously.

*They were all so excited and happy that I didn't need to be

told that the verdict was 'not guilty'.<P>

     Ned and I went down to the wine cellar to bring up a

case of champagne.  When we got back upstairs, Jason, Monica

and Alan had all arrived.<P>

     Ned and I popped open the first two bottles of

champagne.  "There you go," I said as I handed the bottle to

Jason to pass down to his father, which he did.  Jason gave

me another bottle to open.<P>

     "Congratulations, Father," said Alan enthusiastically.

"Justice was indeed served.  And I gotta tell you, I was

proud of your grace under fire."<P>

     Ned had taken his bottle over to Edward and was pouring

him a glass.  "Thank you, Alan," Edward said.<P>

     Jason whispered to me, "Guess no one will mind if I

have a few glasses today, huh?"<P>

     I didn't comment.  He was one of the few people around

here who even worried if he were drinking age or not.<P>

     The lovely Miss Barret sashayed into the room.  She

slapped Jason on the back as she passed by. "Hey, I just

heard the good news."<P>

     There was a chorus of yeahs, the loudest from Alan, as

Brenda went across the room to hug Edward.  "Of course, I

had to hear about it on the radio, guys." She moved back to

face Jason. "God forbid, anyone should actually tell me." As

she moved past I handed her a glass of champagne. "Thanks,"

she said, casually.<P>

     "Well, you're one up on me," said Jason. "I heard two

people gossiping in biology class.  A.J. found out when

Tiffany Hill called him and asked him for a statement at the

office."<P>

     Alan, still holding the bottle of champagne, said,

"Yeah, he's on his way home.  We actually found out at the

hospital, me and Monica, from Amy.  Did you know that she's

the Voice of America now," Alan joked.<P>

     "Well, it happened so fast," Ned explained. "That

Grandfather barely got into court on time."<P>

     "Where is Monica?" Brenda asked.<P>

     "She went up to bed," said Alan.<P>

     "She has the right idea.  Personally I'd like to sleep

until Christmas morning," Lila said happily.<P>

     I had already had a glass or two, and felt inclined to

toast. "It's going to be a splendid Christmas this year," I

said holding up my glass.  I should know better.<P>

     "Oh, right you are," Edward chuckled.<P>

     Alan got up from the couch and Brenda took his place

there beside Lila.  "Lila, you really need to get some

rest," she said, concerned.  I poured myself another glass

of champagne as Brenda said, "So promise me."<P>

     Lila smiled. "I intend to tuck in early tonight and

just think about what a wonderful day it was."<P>

     Brenda smiled back. "Oh, good, and, if you need any

last minute help with Christmas, I'll be back here tomorrow,

okay?"<P>

     "Oh, thank you, Darling, but I think everything's all

organized.  And I want all you young people to dance and

party and have a wonderful, wonderful, holiday," said Lila.<P>

     "Grandmother, we can manage that," Jason said as he sat

down on the couch.<P>

     Brenda got up. "You," she said, pointing at Ned, "On

the other hand, need to be at the gatehouse at five sharp."

She moved around to the back of the couch where Ashton was

standing beside me.<P>

     "I'll be there," said Ned confidently.  I drained

another glass of champagne. "I can make my meeting at ELQ

and be back in time to catch the bus," he assured her.<P>

     "Ned, you absolutely cannot be late," she insisted.<P>

     "Are you crazy?  I wouldn't miss this trip for the

world," said Ned. "Reginald," he said as I started pouring

myself yet another glass.  "More champagne!"  I poured out

the bubbly.  And the celebration went on.<P>



<P><BR>

<B>December 22nd 1994</B><BR>

     On the previous occasions when Police Commissioner Sean

Donely had visited our not so humble mansion to throw around

inaccurate speculation, it hadn't worried me so much.  Now,

however there was a whole pack of Quartermaines who had

heard my confession to attempted murder.  To say the least

his arrival at the door did nothing for my nerves.  Nor did

the remark I overheard as I entered the parlor.<P>

     "I for one hope that this family is through with

murder, attempted, accidental or accomplished, once and for

all," Lila declared. Me too.<P>

     "Sorry to interrupt," I said.  "Commissioner Donely is

here,"<P>

     "Well, show him in," said Edward as if there were no

reason in the world why anyone in the house might be nervous

at the arrival of a cop.<P>

     Steeling myself, I went to show him in. It continues to

amaze me, how poor Sean's hearing is. I could clearly hear

the conversation as I moved to the foyer to fetch the

policeman, but Sean still seemed to have that keen interest

in potted plants.<P>

     "What's this all about?" I heard A.J. wonder aloud,

more worried than his Grandfather about the impending visit.<P>

     "I'm sure he's here to apologize," Edward replied

smugly.<P>

     "Commissioner Donely," I announced Sean, who

fortunately still seemed unaware of my existence as a person.<P>

     "Sorry to intrude," Sean began.  "Oh, how are you,

Lila?" he schmoozed.<P>

     "Much better, thank you, since the onus of Bradley

Ward's murder has been lifted," was her happy reply.<P>

     Edward motioned with his hand. "Well, speak up, Sean.

Don't be shy."<P>

     "What do you think I'm going to say, Edward," Sean

asked him, genuinely perplexed that anyone was expectiing

anything at all from him.<P>

     Edward scowled. "Well, how about uh... Sorry, Edward

for falsely accusing you of murder and for subjecting you

and your family to needless hell these last few months."

Now there was an unrealistic expectation.  If Sean

apologized to everyone he falsely accused there wouldn't be

enough hours in the day.<P>

     "I only did what had to be done, considering all the

evidence," Sean insisted.  Hah!  What circumstancial

evidence he did have had been handed to him on a silver

platter by Luke Spencer and Justus Ward. "However I will

offer an apology of sorts," he finished.<P>

     A.J. couldn't resist the opening. "Ah gee, you sure you

can spare it."  Apparently not, as Sean offered no further

sort of apology.<P>

     "Well, then the next question comes to mind," said

Edward. "Why are you here?"  Mr. Quartermaine walked over to

where I was standing at the wet bar.  He held out his glass

and I filled it with the only liquid in the vicinity, water

out of the crystal pitcher.<P>

     "It seems," said Sean, "I still have an open matter on

my desk; the attempted murder of Katherine Bell."<P>

     The pitcher slipped from my suddenly numb fingers and

crashed to the ground.  Maybe I shouldn't have reacted so

strongly to Sean's statement.  After all he had come to the

mansion saying the same things before with no noticeable

result.  But now things seemed so much more precarious.  A

secret isn't a secret once it's been shared.<P>

     "Ahh!" Edward exclaimed as he wiped off his clothing.<P>

     "Forgive me.  This is so clumsy," I apologized and

backed away from the bar.   I made sure that Sean couldn't

see my face, which undoubtedly had guilt written all over

it.<P>

     "It's all right, Reggie," Lila assured me.<P>

     "No, no.  I'll replace that," I moved backwards until I

reached Lila's chair.<P>

     "Don't worry, dear," Lila took my hand. "I never did

like that pitcher anyway.  Edward's Aunt Phoebe gave it to

us and she always had the most dreadful taste."<P>

     "Oh? Did you think so?" Edward 's concern over her

opinion of his aunt was genuine.  Police questioning was a

casual event for him.<P>

     "I just feel terrible about this.  I'll clean up that

mess right away," I said as I turned towards the door.<P>

     "Fine," said Lila as I left the room, "But just don't

fret about it, please."  I fled down the hallway,

calculating the distance to the Canadian border, but

reconsidered and went to the broom closet.<P>

     I had recovered some semblance of calm when I returned

with a broom and dustpan to the parlor.<P>

     Sean was holding forth, "...until mayhem stops

befalling people that this family doesn't seem to get along

with.  So I'm afraid you're stuck with me."<P>

     "Well, state your business," Edward told him.<P>

     "Miss Bell is still annoyed at the attempt on her

life," said Sean.  I set the dustpan down by the wet bar.

Sean must be understating.  I'm sure Katherine was more than

annoyed.<P>

     "Oh, I see.  I see this is all about Katherine putting

the squeeze on you," A.J. said cooly.  I knelt down to pick

broken glass off the table top and carefully began placing

it in the dustpan.  "Well, I gotta tell you, I empathize

with you.  That's a heck of a vise grip she's got here."<P>

     "Hmm..mmm," Sean affirmed. "She certainly makes a case

for herself, all right, but then again, that shouldn't

surprise any of you, hmmm?"<P>

     "Miss Bell thrives on attention, the more lurid, the

better.  You know I wouldn't be at all surpised if she

drugged herself, just to cause this family grief." Lila

said.  Now, I know all these people knew I had confesed to

the crime in question, but they were all as cool as could

be; old hands at cover-ups, even the revered Lila.<P>

     "And meanwhile our esteemed police department stumbles

all over itself to play right into her hands," Edward

scoffed.<P>

     "That's a very interesting theory, but then again she

would have been taking quite a gamble, hmmm?" said Sean.<P>

     "Don't you get it?  That's what she does," A.J.

declared.<P>

     "With her own life?" Sean said with disbelief.<P>

     "With all due respect, Commissioner, I'm not sure you

realize just how devious Katherine Bell really is." said

A.J..  However devious she is, she has nothing on this

Quartermaine heir.<P>

     "Oh, I have plenty of time, A.J., so why don't you

enlighten me?" Sean sneered.  Usually I would have taken

this opportunity to think that Sean had nowhere near enough

time to be 'enlightened', but I was too nervous.<P>

     "Well, I think that there's the distinct possibility

that Grandmother is on to something here.  I mean, I can

see Katherine getting an idea in her head and not really

stopping to consider the risk to herself. I mean, think

about it, she was after the prize; half of Ned Ashton's

fortune.  Setting one of us up to take the rap, well, that

could have just been icing on the cake for her," A.J.

improvised without compunction.<P>

     I lifted the broom and dustpan quietly and circled

around Lila and behind the couch, stopping to lurk at the

far table.  Sean did not appear to take note.<P>

     "In other words what you're saying is that this was

just an elaborate hoax to acquire money," Sean interpreted.<P>

     "Well, I'm saying that that is definitely a

possibility.  At the very least she could have been setting

one of us up for another blackmail attempt," said A.J..<P>

     "Yes, it is a possibility, at least another angle.

Well, I really must be going," Sean said, cutting short the

interview without actually asking a single investigative

question.<P>

     "We'll see you again, Sean," Edward said.  That was

more of a prediction than a hope.<P>

     "Oh, thank you, Edward.  Thank you for your time.

A.J." Sean said in farewell, "Lila, always good to see you.

I'll be in touch.  Good evening."<P>

     Sean shuffled out.  I was still a little stunned as I

watched him leave.  Edward waved for me to follow Sean and

make sure he went out.  I reached the foyer just as Sean was

walking out the front door.<P>

     "Grandfather?" I heard A.J. say in the other room and

then nothing further.<P>

     The door swung shut behind the police commissioner. I

locked it shut and hurried back into the parlor.  Edward

heaved a sigh and relaxed.<P>

     "Fine handling, A.J.," Edward praised his grandson.<P>

     Feeling less than well, I crossed behind the couch.<P>

     "You think he bought it?" A.J asked.<P>

     "Well, made him leave, gave him pause that's the main

thing," Edward said, pleased.<P>

     I loosened my tie and collapsed into the armchair.<P>

     "Edward, look at Reginald," Lila said with concern.<P>

     I began to feel distinctly faint and leaned over to put

my head between my knees.<P>

     "What?  What in the world has happened to you, man?"

Edward demanded.<P>

     Upright again, I said, "I can't do this anymore.  I

don't have the constitution for it." I wiped my forehead

with the white cloth I'd been holding.<P>

     "Come on, what's the problem," A.J. asked.  Cold

blooded.  The whole family didn't even blink at this kind of

thing.<P>

     "The problem is that I'm about to lose my freedom and

it's making me claustrophobic already," I said, as I began

unbuttoning my vest.  I really wasn't all that worried about

Sean discovering my involvement, but if the PCPD put their

minds to it they might put a competent investigator on the

case who in no time at all would spot that I was the person

with opportunity, though my motive was weaker than some

others.<P>

     "Oh, what the devil are you babbling about, man?"

Edward groused.<P>

     I stood up. "There's no other choice.  I have to turn

myself in." It would be quicker that way; less trouble for

everyone in the long run. If they'd just see it that way.<P>

    "No!" Lila was adamant. "You will not turn yourself in,

Reginald."<P>

     "No, we won't stand for it," Edward agreed.<P>

     "But, sir, I..." I started to explain my reasoning, but

he would have none of it.<P>

     "But nothing.  Now, we have had more than our share of

scandal and we have taken ourselves out of the running.  Why

do you think I'm bending over backwards to be nice to

Justus?  Now I forbid you to implicate this family in one

more crime.  Is that clear?"  Edward laid down the law.  And

here I'd thought he was being nice to Justus out of pure

family spirit and didn't want to turn me in out of kindness.

Okay, so it was only a very thin illusion.<P>

     "Quite so, sir," I capitulated since I really wasn't

that enamoured of surrendering to the authorities.<P>

     "Now I don't want to hear another word about it,"

Edward said with finality.  He turned to Lila.  "All right,

Lila, let's go in and see what Cook is in such a flap

about."<P>

     "Oh, I suppose we've put it off long enough.  Whenever

Cook demands a meeting with the two of us it strikes fear in

my heart," Lila said as he pushed her out of the room.   The

respect in which Cook is held constantly amazes me.  I keep

trying to get a peek at her paycheck to see if it's

reflected there.<P>

     A.J. got up to make sure his grandparents were no

longer in earshot.  "You know, Reggie, I might have a way

out of this for you," He told me.<P>

     "What?" I asked, certain that there was no less than

excruciating way out of this.<P>

     "Well, I think Grandmother might have given us the

solution when she said that poor Katherine poisoned

herself," said A.J..<P>

     "That was just a stalling tactic.  I poisoned Miss Bell

we both know that," I said, wondering if had forgotten all

the wonderful Halloween scenes.<P>

     "Yes, we know that, but see the idea, Reginald, is to

keep that information from the general public," said A.J..

I was abashed.  It was the first time A.J. had directed his

talent for sarcasm at me.  "Listen to me," he continued.

"I'm gonna need your help to pull this off."<P>

     "What can I do?" I asked, against my better judgement.

If A.J. was going to pull something off, the long-term

consequences were probably not going to be good.<P>

     "Did Katherine leave anything behind?  Anything that

maybe, say had her fingerprints on it." A.J. asked me.<P>

     "There's a small jewelry box.  If you remember she was

on her way up the stairs to get it when she took that

header," I informed him.  This I had learned second-hand

from Mr. Ashton when he was in an expansive mood.<P>

     A.J. found this humorous. "Heh, heh, heh, that's

perfect.  Listen I need you to get that for me.  And be very

careful.  Don't touch it.  We don't want any other

fingerprints on it.  And some of that medicine you slipped

*her too." A.J. said.<P>

     "Why?" I asked him, though actually I could make a

pretty accurate guess.<P>

     "So that I can fix everything," A.J. said smugly.

"Reggie I'm gonna become your hero.  Let's go."  A.J. patted

me on the shoulder.  I crossed back behind the couch and

A.J. went in front of it.  I left the parlor and headed

upstairs.  Fortunately, Monica wasn't home and Lila and

Edward were in their conference with Cook, so obtaining the

medicine was not a problem.  Miss Bell's rooms were empty

now, Mr. Ashton having moved out promptly to another set;

unpleasant associations, I suppose.  Still, I was careful,

not wanting one of the maids to observe me removing the

jewelry box.  Nevertheless it took only a short time before

I returned to the parlor.<P>

     A.J. was pacing when I entered. "Good," he greeted me.

"Got it?" I handed him the jewelry box in the cloth I had

wrapped it in. "This is beautiful.  This is perfect. You got

the pills?" he asked.<P>

     I pulled them out. "Mrs. Quartermaine's digoxin and Dr.

Quartermaine's quinobarbitol," I catalogued.<P>

     "Great!  Why so glum? Come on Reg, everything's gonna

be great." A.J. said with a frightening lack of conscience.<P>

     "Yes, so you say." I was beginning to have my regrets

all ready. It was obvious that he intended to plant this

'evidence' on Ms. Bell and that might only cause further

trouble.<P>

     "So it is," A.J. insisted.<P>

     "Look, you have to understand where I'm coming from on

this," I tried to explain to him.  "I don't want to be a

party to anything that's going to cause anymore trouble for

this family."<P>

     "Yeah, my family," A.J. said possessively. "And I don't

want to do anything that's going to hurt them either. So

trust me.  I told you I'm going to fix everything, and I

will."<P>

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